we promise to return soon!

Screen Shot 2014-03-11 at 11.02.16 AMwe had high hopes of maintaining this blog but who knew raising a little one would be such hard work. we blame ourselves, we got distracted and then we got knocked up, again. it’s tough to write a bourbon blog when only one of the writers is currently imbibing. so we have three months left until our second daughter arrives and then rest assured we will return to posting on a regular basis. we truly miss the bourbon world and can’t wait to share tips, discoveries and recipes with you soon!

in the meantime we suggest all you bourbon darling check out Hudson Whiskey. they are currently searching for a new brand ambassador and as much as we wanted to apply it would be hard to travel with two girls under 2.

cheers!

Dinner and Drinks! Minus Dinner!

Some people like having a nice glass or bottle or two-thirds of a box of wine with dinner.  I’m one of those people (be on the lookout for an upcoming post where we—GASP AND EGADS—combine bourbon and wine in a variety of cocktails!), and I even know a little bit about what wine pairs with what food.  Example: are you eating fish?  Then you should drink a wine that isn’t made from fish.  You know, for contrast.

However, as this is a bourbon blog, I thought I’d highlight the eating one can do with a nice trusty glass o’ bourbon by their side.  Chefs know that bourbon meshes well with many edibles, which is why you can get so many bourbon-inspired meals at TGI Friday’s.  Or is it Applebee’s?  Chili’s?  The point is that you’ll have a great time having dinner with friends and/or diarrhea.

Let’s be honest, though: sometimes, dinner just sounds d-u-m-b, and you’re all “pfft, I just want a little something to prevent my stomach from folding in on itself like a Mobius strip.”  We’ve all been there; some of us have never left.  Looking at you, Grandma.

So here’s a brief list of my favorite snackypoos to go with my drinkypoo of choice (bourbon, in case you have the immediate recall of an Alzheimery goldfishypoo).  Emphasis is on those choice snacks that play off the natural flavors in bourbon, and really sit well on the palate.  Secondary emphasis is on the fact that I am a cheap bastard and wouldn’t buy those newfangled Fig Newton biscuit-cookie things if I had Scrooge McDuck money.

PEANUTS

There’s a reason bars usually keep a bowl of peanuts out: ghosts are afraid of them, and liquor licenses require that every bar be super haunted.  But lo, those brown phantasm repellants are also very edible, and notably sweet in the context of a few sips of bourbon.  Salted peanuts add in that whole salty/sweet interplay, which everybody pretends that they love even though they don’t remember the last time they ate anything that had it (trust me, it’s actually great though).

FUN FACT: Despite the claim in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Dumbo did not actually work for peanuts.  He got scale and three points on the domestic box office.

GRANNY SMITH APPLE SLICES

While ranking as one of my bottom three apples (the other two: the Rottenpoop and the Weekend Dad), the tartness and clean finish of the Granny Smith apple pairs very well with most bourbons and some ancient riddles.  Add in some Graham crackers to approximate a deconstructed apple pie; replace those Graham crackers with Graham Norton for a raucously fun interview laden with homoerotic subtext.  You don’t actually have to slice the apple to eat it, but if you don’t start using that knife collection of yours for some innocent purposes, people are going to start gossiping.

FUN FACT: Johnny Appleseed was an actual person, made entirely of apple meat.  If you listen carefully every time you bite into an apple, you need a hobby.

BABY CARROTS

Vegetable farmers totally figured it out:  everybody secretly wants to eat babies, but not-so-secretly wants to avoid a lengthy prison term.  Enter the baby carrot.  The sweetness of baby carrots is more obvious than the peanut, but with an earthy freshness that beckons out more of the woody/smoky flavors in bourbon.  I specify baby carrots instead of regular-sized carrots, because a regular-sized carrot is not a snack.  It is a punishment.  Baby carrots come in a bag, because the first thing anybody thinks about when the word “appetizing” is brought to mind is “just a bunch of stuff thrown into a clear sack.”

FUN FACT: There are literally zero fun facts about carrots.

HAZELNUTS

“Wait,” some of you are thinking, “didn’t you already list peanuts earlier in this post?  You’re just a hack, aren’t you?  Getting paid by the word, hacky hackerton?”  And the answers, in order:  yes; probably; no, I’m getting paid by a generous grant from the McGraw-Hill Companies.  But this was somewhat of an accidental discovery, spurred on by my sneaking a few nips of bourbon into a hazelnut coffee (more commonly known as The Manliest and Butchest Beverage On The Whole Green Earth Praise Jesus).  It turns out that hazelnuts and bourbon combine to evoke an almost apple flavor, without all the risk of biting into a piece of fruit and being poisoned by an evil queen for being almost criminally fair.

FUN FACT:  Hazelnuts, like hazel eyes, are a combination of Rayleigh scattering and a moderate amount of melanin in the iris’ anterior border layer.  In other words, I copied and pasted something from Wikipedia for use in a punchline.

CORN CHIPS

It’s a bold move of me to say that corn goes well with corn, much like the visionary bartender Thad Mountgood, who first envisioned the harmonious pairing of water and ice.  “Behold!” he hollered from his imbibe laboratory, “I have delivered the clouds’ offering from the temperate condition we have since dubbed ‘room’!”  As great as that trip down memory lane was, it only has everything to do with how good corn chips and bourbon are together.  You know how root beer gets ice cream and then the miracle that is a float matrix occurs?  This is bourbon’s “oh crap, I forgot the science fair was today” entry into that world.  Don’t crush up corn chips and drop them in your bourbon, though.  That’d be weird.  Like, suspenders weird.  Just enjoy the salty crunch followed by the sweetness of that barreled alchemy what satisfies your liver demons.

FUN FACT:  Fritos are named after the Spanish word “frito,” or “hey man, these are good, but can it come with an artificial jalapeno cheese dip in a sterno-looking can?  We can sell it on the side, sure.”  Spanish is an incredibly complex language!

In conclusion.

Sharknado

bull

Bourbon is, without question, magical:  textured, nuanced, with over-and-undertones that range from smoke and wood to toffee and vanilla.  This combination of notes and hints strikes me as… warm.  A combination of tastes and smells that instantly transport the drinker to a study, next to a crackling fire, looking out onto a moonlit field of autumn leaves or midwinter snow.

But let’s say you’re a Class A Goofball that moved someplace like Southern California, and now you really don’t have much use for these so-called “seasons.”  While perpetual warmth and sun is great for beachcombers and professionally not-wearing-much-clothing humans, it kinda kills some of the majesty that is bourbon.

I say “kinda kills,” because bourbon is far, FAR too clever and resilient to be undone by something like nine months of short pants and sunglasses.  Indeed, one of the most popular bourbon cocktails is the mint julep.  This absolutely delectable item is most commonly served during the Kentucky Derby, an event famed for its sunny skies and 15,744,295.33% humidity.

Recently, we had a gathering at our humble abode, and bourbon was the order of the evening—specifically, Bulleit, a fantastic slice of brown heaven whose sweet notes are ripe for compliment and contrast.  While I enjoy nothing more than a Bulleit and Bulleit with a splash of Bulleit on the rocks, I know full well that some people taste straight bourbon and wish they could go straight to the point in time that they don’t taste anything ever again.  Don’t worry folks, I’ve got your back.

Orange juice.  I figured I’d lead with the punchline, because I’m an artist and flipping the script is how I roll.  Orange juice meets up with Bulleit and magic happens:  the heat of the bourbon is mitigated by the sweetness of the juice, while the sour backbone prevents the concoction from becoming too cloying.  So far, so good; but we’re basically now no better than teenagers that were making screwdrivers and, having run out of vodka, grabbed the next thing in their stepdad’s liquor cabinet.  Enter:  the herbal element.

Playing off the inherent sweetness of bourbon and orange juice, we find a prime candidate:  basil.  Kinda sweet, kinda minty, kinda grassy, and very fresh-tasting.  The grassier aspects of basil mesh well with the orange juice’s sourness, and bring new depth to the sweetness of the mix in general.

There you have it.  A cool and crisp cocktail to chase away those summer… whatever the hot temperature equivalent of the blues would be.  I’d say the reds, but those were Soviets, and we already chased them away! USA!  USA!  USA! -Andrew

The Sharknado (because topicality is great)

sharknado

1.5 parts Bulleit bourbon

1 part orange juice (fresh, if possible)

2 leaves fresh basil

Basil is typically muddled in the glass along with the orange juice, with the bourbon added last; larger servings may incorporate use of a cocktail shaker.  Serve over ice.  Garnish with an orange slice optional and kinda pretentious if you’re drinking at home.

national bourbon day

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Oh my God you guys tomorrow is National Bourbon Day! It should be a national holiday in our opinion with days off work, free bourbon at every bar, parades, parties, wait, no parades, parades suck. You get the idea. So how will you celebrate National Bourbon Day? What bourbon will you be drinking? We fully intend on attempting to finish this giant family sized bottle. Cheers! Na zdorovje! для Вашого здоров’я

Welcome! Bienvenue! Bienvenidos! Other Languages!

subway

We–that is, Taylor and Andrew–wait, we haven’t even introduced ourselves yet.  Hello!  We are Taylor and Andrew, an extremely married couple sharing a little bit of ourselves with the rest of the Internet.  So what are we doing here?  Allow us to explain.

The two of us met over bourbons in New York City, universally considered to be the best place to get drunk with New Yorkers.  Three bars, untold drinks, and some serious smittenness later, we found ourselves as an item.  Eventually, we made that item a legal one, and it’s all thanks to bourbon.

For all the good that bourbon has done for us, what better way to pay back that delicious liquid matchmaker than singing its praises on the World Wide Web?  And here we are.  As far as our bona fides?  Well, we’ve served as informal bourbon coaches for friends and acquaintances in the past, and have probably had enough of the stuff over the years to fill a decent-sized municipal swimming pool. Plus Taylor had the whole bartending/server gig for years.  But this isn’t just a by-the-numbers bourbon tasting guide.  We’ll get into all manner of topics related to bourbon: cocktails, food pairings, history, and who knows what else.

So welcome–or, rather, bourbonjour, to our little splash of heaven.  To new beginnings!